GAH!

stupid fucking cop! stupid fucking people that know me! stupid fucking family!! I fucking hate this state it's police force and my family! GAHHHHH!!!!!!

why do nightmares suck so much?

I've been having horrid nightmares lately. like wake up bleeding with scratch marks on my arms nightmares. and it suuccckkksssss

perfection

that is truly the only way to describe my day it was amazing, perfect. it was kinda pathetic though...I had his hand chained and I had total control (mostly) yet he was still worried about forcing me to do something I didn't want to do, as if he actually could in that position. but it was amazing even if he's insanely paranoid. I love it when he begs ^_^ even if he sucks at it...

today already sucks -_-

I have nothing to do today! the day is half over and all I've done is read spider man, kill shit on a facebook game, and feed cricket (my baby lamb)!!! it even sucked before I got out of bed. I woke up and I had huge scratch marks on my arms. I have no idea what I was draming about but it must have been pretty bad for me to claw at my arms like that.

and so search begins

I've left my pack. I was sick of all the painful memories and stupid people. so I left them. and now they have no alpha XD I kinda feel bad about leaving without someone ready to take my place as leader. but they'll figure something out. I kinda feel strange without a pack but I'll find a new one. I'll start a whole new pack if I have to. I will have the best pack in the history of ever!! we'll be a happy little family

I think I'm alive...but I'm not quite sure

I might have died last night...but I don't think so. but there's still that possibility that we both froze to death last night and now we're in heaven or hell or where ever the fuck they want to send us. I slept for like 12 hours -_- it kinda sucked I can't figure out how much of this morning was real and how much was a dream. pretty sure the drowning was a dream. and the fires. and most of the blood. but I can't be sure.